Turducken: A Five-Act Comedy of Fun and Deliciousness

Or

Turducken: A Five-Act Tragedy of Roasted Carnage and Bacon Death

Part 1: Party Supplies Please Children.

For our Labor Day Classic, we ordered a turducken from a butcher and a keg from Beau's Brewery. It's a simple formula, really. Birds + Beer = Fun. When the delivery truck showed up to drop off the keg, the kids were ecstatic.
"A truck brought that! A truck brought that red thing! A truck brought that big red thing! It's cold! It's cold! A truck brought that big red cold thing!"
Luckily, that big red cold thing fit in our fridge.
And so too the bird. When Dylan brought home the turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken stuffed with Italian sausage, I was worried about the size. For all that fowl, it was sort of small.
It is deboned, though, and, essentially, a big, solid meat ball, and we had more than enough turducken for all. Poor birds. Happy tummies.

Part 2: Families Arrive, Children Run Amok, and A Great Feast is Had.
The jury is in. Rosemary approves of parties. Also on the "Like" list: bubbles, lots of friends, good music, and general twirling in the living room while squealing with joy while two middle-school boys look on, doing their very best to look as cool as possible despite the fact they are hanging out with a very giggly toddler.
Meanwhile, this is Finn in full party mode.
He did at one point retire to his room, but the next day, he announced he wanted "more party." Finn also requested the moon be brought into the house, not that these requests are related. Just saying.

Part 3: The Turducken
Very kindly, Everett volunteered to carve the bird-in-a-bird-in-a-bird.
With military precision, I might add.
It was good. Any meatlover could not argue with this package of bird all wrapped in bacon. What? Didn't I mention there was also bacon involved? The duck and the chicken were wrapped in bacon. Do not attempt a calorie count. I repeat. Don't go there.

Part 4: Parents Return!

The bird has been eaten, deemed delicious. All the wee party-goers have been tucked into bed, and neighborhood babysitters are hard at work. The party continues!

The only snag is the keg is discovered to be leaky; much is discussed about the suckiness of this fact, and a great debate erupts about getting more beer.
Conversational short version: there is a lot of foam, a bit of lost beer, and some anger expressed toward Beau's.

Figure A: Foam.

Figure B: Lost beer.
Figure C: The Debate

Figure D: Screw You, Beau's!

Part 5: Don't Worry. Be Happy.

We still managed somehow to enjoy ourselves.

Alls well that ends well. Happy Labor Day, People.