An army of Elmo cupcakes!

Happy birthday, Finn! We are three, a wee wonderful age of bugs and new discoveries, new independence. To catch lightening in a bottle, to keep you here forever with me, at this age, I would, if I could.

I love you, Finn.

Top 10 Reasons Finn Is Amazing.


1) You have brought all matters of light, happiness, and, I truly believe, a bit of luck into my life. The day you were born, after all the drama, we had some quiet moments in our hospital room. I am not a particularly superstitious person, but I looked out that window holding you sitting next to your father, and there it was. A beautiful rainbow heralding your arrival.

2) You taught me how to be a mother. It was a bit scary, though, that first night with you. You wouldn't latch properly. There wasn't a lot of sleep. Nurses came and went offering increasingly bewildering advice about getting you to feed. The first few diapers I changed were difficult. That first crap is sticky, man! When we were getting ready to leave the hospital, I was feeling particularly inept, disheveled, and completely unsure. Dylan went off to get the car seat and left us alone. Alone with the baby, I was scared, no doubt. I sang to you, "Hush Little Baby," and to my weary, postpartum eyes, I saw recognition in yours.

I had sung this song to you daily while you were on the inside and I was waiting for your arrival, and now, as I sang it for you in real life, I began to feel like a mother, like your mother, Finn.
3) You have a beautiful, gentle nature. In your way, you teach quiet and peace. You watch the world whirling around you, and you're thinking about it. I can see that. Sometimes you choose to participate; other times, you just watch.

4) You're really funny. The first time you saw pizza, you said really loudly, "Yum." You just knew that had to be delicious. Very good instincts, my little man.

5) You are probably a computer genius. You know how to work the bloody things better than I do. You can open a web browser, go to your bookmark folder, select the website you want, go to it, and then from that site, select any games, videos that you want. You adjust volume settings. You can open the paint program and starting drawing. I know. I know. Everyone can use a computer, right? But you're three, Finn. Three. Google guys, you better watch out. Finn will be programming you out of business.

6) You like cleaning. A really special treat is when I let you play in the sink with bubbles and a washcloth. I find this a little bizarre, but whatever. You go Finn! Clean away, and please keep doing so well into your teenage years. Let me know when you're ready to start doing the laundry.

7) Actually, you have started the laundry. You love to help me with it. In fact, you are a very helpful little man. There is no job you won't do for me. You carry my bags for me. You open the car door for me. You'll put things away without being asked. You tidy your room. You're a conscientious little boy, and it shows how much you care about your world and the people in it. Thanks, Finn.

8) Kitties are your favorite. You recognize those adorable, furballs as kindred spirits. Me too, Finn. Me too. Sunbeam naps and lots of cuddles sound like a great life.
9) Your best pal is your daddy. You are his little shadow, helping him with every project, accompanying every car wash, assisting his every move. You're there with the tool bag, the laptop, the hose and bucket, the disks for the software uploads, the moving of wires. And let's face it, Finn. What would Daddy do with you?

10) You are, truly, wonderful. Happy Three, Finn Bear.

I've lost my pants, but I don't care. I need a cookie. How on earth do I open this thing?

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.
~Frederick Keonig


The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. ~James Openheim


The weather is warm. The grass is green. Our trees are budding, and actually, the tulips are coming up early.* We spotted two cardinals on our morning walk. Those birds really should move out West because they are spectacular. The park is filled with our friends. We're racing our ride-ons up and down the driveway in the afternoons.


For many of us, our happiness is in the future, never reached, always coming. Today, for me, it's here, right now. I work at this constantly. I am forever keeping myself here and trying to soak up as much of all this childhood, this loud and messy whirl of life, as I can while it lasts. The days are long, the years are short indeed.




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*This is big news in Ottawa, what with the upcoming Tulip Fest in May. Oh, Ottawa. Only in you, capital city where nothing bad ever seems to happen, would tulips blooming be front-page news. I am getting pretty skeptical of the lack of crime here. When we first moved here, I was all, "What? No stabbings in the Monday newspaper?" Where I'm from, it's not a weekend without a few stabbings. And lots of broken windows up and down the main avenues. Nothing says, "It's the weekend," like property damage, apparently. Actually, the weekend is really about red meat and beer. And maybe a little rye. What? I am from Alberta, after all. The stabbings and property damage are just consequences. Here, it's all lost kittens and, well, not much of anything. My disbelief is suspended, I guess, for now, but those cops directing traffic at Costco, surely, SURELY, they must have some crime to fight sometime somewhere. Right??

"Mama! I've been out collecting bugs! Wanna see?"


How can I refuse an offer like that?


First, we open the door to our handy bug collecting device.


Next, we get out our trusty magnifying glass.


Then we marvel in the squishy, creepy-crawly wonderfulness of spring.



I am very interested in the worm, the centipede, and the two beetle-ish guys Finn has collected. Really, I am. I'm loving them.



And the little boy. He's pretty marvelous too.

Rosemary's b-day was great, and thanks for all for the well-wishes and gifts. She had a wonderful day and loved it all, except for the part where I took her away from the new sand table so that she could eat some cake. Man, she really likes that table.

(And, by the way, we are only temporarily insane. The sand and water table was in the living room only for her b-day because it was cold. Now it's outside where sand can be flung without causing my head to explode. Also, for anyone considering this product, it's more mud-pie table than sand and water. but whatever.)

Happy Birthday, little sweet one. You're one-year-old today.

One year ago, at around 10:30 at night, I was living this.

I love you, Rosemary, for all these reasons and more (italics added by Dadda):


1) You are always smiling. I know all Moms probably say that, but it's actually true about you. One look from anyone, or anything actually, and you let loose one. big. bright. happy. smile. (It's your smile that can turn any day good day into a great day. Your excitement and enthusiasm is incomparable. You have something that I've never seen; true, unselfish love for Finn, your Mom and me.) yo


2) That squealing noise you make whenever you see a dog. It could be a big, scary, barking dog, and still, you hold out your arms and make that noise, which, I am sure, is baby for "HUG."


3) You sleep through the night unfailingly, and you have a long afternoon nap. This is a gift you give to me, and every morning, when I wake up after a full night's uninterrupted sleep, I thank you for it.(I also thank you for sleeping. It helps everyone adjust to this new life we quickly found ourselves in.)


4) Your first words, thus far, are Mama, Elmo, and Ernie. I have to admit that day I saw you looking at an Elmo book and saying over and over again "Elm," I was hesitant to think you were actually saying "ELmo," but as the days went on, it became very clear that yes, you were, in fact, saying Elmo. This first word moment has been brought to us by Finn.


5) You give really good hugs.(and starting to give good kisses.)


6) For the way you look at your big brother, Finn. It's with adoration and with a thirst for knowledge. He is your teacher; you are his very apt, very attentive student. Example: sometimes Finn still uses his baby signs, especially in the car. I'll never forgot Finn making his sign for milk from his car seat, and you watching as I passed back his cup. You looked at him. You looked at the cup. You looked at your own hand and, very deliberately, made the milk sign too. The bright look in your eyes said, "So that's how I get a cup of milk around here."(With your smile and your assertive personality you will get whatever you want. It's scary.)


7) The lessons of fairness, patience, and affection you've helped your brother learn. We are all better people with you in our lives.




8) The way you hold your arms out to your Daddy for a hug and the shining look in his eyes when he gives it to you.(There's not another girl I could love more in this world more than you. Without saying a word you've fascinated me with your energy and adorableness.)


9) For such a wee little girl, you are so independent. One minute you are sitting in my lap, and the next, you've gotten down from the couch and crawled into the kitchen. When I come looking for you, you've opened the screen door, climbed down the step, and are sitting on the deck playing with the side-walk chalk. And by "playing," I don't mean you've dumped it or are trying to eat it or some other random behaviour befitting an almost one-year-old. Nope, you've taken a piece of chalk and are trying to draw on the deck with it. Finn, we are being watched.


10) When you and your brother play, laughing and lost in a magical world of childhood, I feel really, really lucky just to witness you two together.

One was fun, it was surely was, but I can't wait for two.